Hit my snooze alarm for the twenty seventh time
  Just don't feel like goin' to work - I think I'll call my boss, then I'm
  Gonna hack and cough and wheeze
  Swear I got some strange disease
  What's that little twerp gonna say
  Hey
    I'm callin' in sick today
  Callin' in sick today
    I could shine my pennies or clean my lava lamp
  I could spend all day in my underwear wathing "Ernest Goes To Camp"
  I could sit and count my hair
  I could burp my Tupperware
  I'm not busy anyway
  Hey
    I'm callin' in sick today
  Callin' in sick today
  Ain't goin' to work, no way
  Callin' in sick today
    I can do anything I want to
  I am invincible now
  I'm on fire, baby
  I'm alive, I'm alive, can you hear me, world?
  I'm alive
    Maybe I'll spend all day staring at the sun
  And trying not to squint
  Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from
  My belly button lint
  When I'm sick of takin' abuse
  I just make up some lame excuse
  Freedom's just seven digits away
  Hey
    I'm callin' in sick today
  Callin' in sick today
  Ain't gonna work, no way
  Callin' in sick today