Went to a party
  I danced all night
  I drank 16 beers
  And I started up a fight
    But now I am jaded
  You're out of luck
  I'm rolling down the stairs
  Too drunk to fuck
    Too drunk to fuck
  Too drunk to fuck
  Too drunk, to fuck
  I'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk
  To fuck
    I like your stories
  I love your gun
  Shooting out truck tires
  Sounds like loads and loads of fun
    But in my room
  Wish you were dead
  You ball like the baby
  In Eraserhead
    Too drunk to fuck
  Too drunk to fuck
  Too drunk, to fuck
  It's all I need right now
  Too drunk to fuck
    Too drunk to fuck
  Too drunk to fuck
  Too drunk, to fuck
  I'm sick soft gooey and cold
  Too drunk to fuck
    I'm about to drop
  My head's a mess
  The only salvation is
  I'll never see you again
    You give me head
  It makes it worse
  Take out your fuckin' retainer
  Put it in your purse
    I'm too drunk to fuck
  You're to drunk to fuck
  Too drunk to fuck
  It's all I need right now Oh baby
  I'm melting like an ice cream bar
  Oh baby
    And now I got diarrhea
  Too drunk to fuck
  Yeah, Yeah
  Yeah, Yeah
  Yeah, Yeah
  Oooohhh