Dorothy Parker [Controversy Music, ASCAP - 1987]
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  Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade
  She worked the night shift
  Dishwater blonde, tall and fine
  She got a lot of tips
  Well, earlier I'd been talkin' stuff
  In a violent room
  Fighting with lovers past
  I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine
  Dorothy was fast
  Well, I ordered - "Yeah, let me get a fruit cocktail, I ain't 2 hungry"
  Dorothy laughed
  She said "Sounds like a real man 2 me"
  Kinda cute, U wanna take a bath?
  (do you wanna, do you wanna, bath)
  I said "Cool, but I'm leaving my pants on" (she say)
  "Cuz I'm kind of going with someone"
  She said "Sounds like a real man 2 me"
  "Mind if I turn on the radio?"
  "Oh, my favorite song" she said
  And it was Joni singing "Help me I think I'm falling"
  (Ring)
  The phone rang and she said
  "Whoever's calling can't be as cute as U"
  Right then I knew I was through
  (Dorothy Parker was cool)
    My pants where wet, they came off
  But she didn't see the movie
  Cuz she hadn't read the book first
  Instead she pretended she was blind
  An affliction brought on by a witch's curse
  Dorothy made me laugh (ha ha)
  I felt much better so I went back
  2 the violent room (tell us what U did)
  Let me tell U what I did...
    I took another bubble bath with my pants on
  All the fighting stopped
  Next time I'll do it sooner
  This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker
    Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
  Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
  Well
  Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
  Well