John Rioux was his hane
  Screwing up was his game
  Oh gosh he hates his folks
  In fact, his whole life is a joke
    Well he's only seventeen
  He knows everything
  His brain's malfunctioning
    He's a teenage gluesniffer
  Well he's a teenage gluesniffer
  Well he's a teenage gluesniffer
  Oh oh oh yeah
  Oh oh oh yeah
    Shane Problem is his name
  Whacking off is his game
  Girls all think he's a joke
  His fanzine is a hoax
    Well he's only twenty two
  His diet is quite rude
  Eat's Denny's and pukes
    He's a teenage gluesniffer
  Well he's a teenage gluesniffer
  Well he's a teenage gluesniffer
  Oh oh oh yeah
  Oh oh oh yeah
    He's an asshole
  He's a bonehead
  He's a jerkoff
  He's a real waste case
  He's a real waste case
  He's a teenage gluesniffer
  Well he's a teenage gluesniffer...