Catch a shooting star and put it in your pocket
  And your pants will start on fire
  One bird in the hand, or two birds in the bush
  Neither do you any good, when you're stuck in the quagmire
    Show everyone you're not sure that they're telling the truth
  Then you can be known as the universal cynic too
    Benefit your fellow man with good deeds for the day
  And you'll serve your life away
  Pennies saved today are pennies still tomorrow
  Strewn upon the desk, piled up in the paper weight
    Show everyone you're not sure that they're telling the truth
  Then you can be known as the universal cynic too
    Wipe your opaque eyes and restore your crystal vision
  Turn another cheek and exalt in your decision
  A bit of exercise for the universal cynic in you
    Early to bed and early to rise
  Precludes you from seeing the most brilliant starry nights
  Sticks and stones can break bones, words can't really hurt
  Unless you carry guns, and are hungry for a fight
    Challenging the standards, or questioning the established rules
  Trying to understand how they can benefit you
  Showing everyone you're not sure that they're telling the truth
  Just a bit of exercise for the universal cynic in you
  The universal cynic is you