My name is Mud
   Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis
   My name is mud and it's always been
   'Cause I'm the most boring sons-a-bitch you've ever seen
   I dress in blue-yes navy blue
   >From head to toe I'm rather drab except my patent shoes
   I make 'em shine, well most the time
   'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine
   Six foort two and rude as hell
   I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell
   My name is Mud
  
   My name is Mud, but call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie
   That's long for Mud so I've been told
   Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me bloated blue and cold
   I've got my pride, I drink my wine
   I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months
   Or were it years
   The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears
   We had our words, a common spat
   So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat
   My name is Mud